Akatsuki Diaries
by Erun1
Summary: The Akatsuki get diaries because i told them to for this story. and who knows what they'll write? no OC's rated for implied yaoi. and swearing. PIC BY KONAN-TAYTAY ON DA!


Akatsuki Diaries.

^3^ each chapter shall be 1-2 entries for a few Akatsuki members. No yaoi; possibly implied. Rated for implied yaoi and Hidan -.-

Deidara;

Dear Diary,

So today was pretty normal, un. Hmm I even write that. Sasori got me a bracelet that stabs me whenever I say un. Such a considerate friend :)

Itachi's pretty nice. I was talking to him and he was being all quiet and listening. Sometimes i catch him staring at me; maybe he just thinks that my art is so cool staring at me would make him cooler. I dunno. Sasori and Hidan stare too. I'm not sure why though... Whatevs! Gotta go; Leader assigned us a mission :P god i hate those. Wish me luck! I gotta break my un habit!

Love,

Deidara

Dear Diary,

Well my mission was great! I blew up my shirt; I'll need a new one. Kakuzu told me not to go near Sasori and Itachi until I get another. And he also said something about not paying for it. :D i dont know how Hidan puts up with such a grouch.

I figured out something. Hidan told me that when Itachi or Sasori stare at me it just means that they want to spend some time with me alone and in a locked room. I think that's sweet. I've never really had any friends. Hidan suggested that I ask them to hang out with me in my room for a night. What a great idea!

That reminds me of something. Zetsu ate part of my arm. Again. Gonna have to go to Kakuzu to get it fixed. If you didn't know Diary, I just sighed. There goes my money for more clay.

And Sasori is so nice. After just a few stabs, I feel intense psychological pain even thinking the word un! He always carries me to a hotel when I black out. I don't know how I end up on the bed all gross and sticky but I always just take a shower. I'm still sore though. Whatever. :)

Oh yeah. I blew up Tobi. Prick was going on and on about how much he wanted to see Disneyland. Then he hugged me. Again. So KATSU! He deserved it. Pisses me off.

Ugh. Sasori's stuck in his puppet.

Love,

Deidara

Sasori:

Dear Diary,

At least you won't call me Pinnochio. That's what fish face called me. I almost cried; I can't help being a puppet! Deidara cheered me up, he always does. I love that blondie. He's so cute. I've gotta watch out for Itachi though.

The new 'un' bracelet I made is amazing. One knock out and I can have a knocked out Deidara all to myself. Speak of the devil. Geez I gotta go for a few Diary. Zetsu ate Dei's arm again.

*blood stains. Tears. Blood*

Ugh. Stupid Pein. He's assigning us a mission. All well, I'm with Dei right? Ugh gotta go.

From,

Sasori

Dear Diary,

Our mission was great. I managed to get Deidara to slip a few times. Carried him to a motel and had some fun. Unfortunately Itachi and Kisame were there. Kisame's so blind. I mean, how can you NOT notice the Uchiha's love? Kisame has a huge crush on Itachi and they're currently dating. I dunno why Itachi doesn't break up.

Ever wondered what the heck Tobi does shut up in his room? It doesn't seem to fit his personality. Then again nothing really does. He watches Cold Case and Criminal Minds. I spotted him watching Saw yesterday and laughing at the gore. Weird.

Gotta go. Dinner. Wonder what Konan made?

Damn I'm stuck. Ugh. Well at least Deidara's trying to get me out. It isn't working well.

From,

Sasori

Tobi/Madara:

Dear Best Diary Ever!

I had so much fun playing cards yesterday. FML. IT SUCKS. Deidara sempai looked very pretty today. I REALLY WANT HIM. But I shouldn't. Itachi san and Sasori-san like him. I can tell. FUCK THEM. Madara-sempai you shouldn't be so meeaaann! I DONT CARE. I WANT DEIDARA. At least he can't tell we're staring at him. WHEN DID WE BECOME LIKE ZETSU? -_- i dunno. Zetsu's nice though. He wanted tah show me something. I got all this white stuff on me. But then we showered. He was so nice he did all the work! HE FUCKING RAPED YOU. what's that? UGH. NEVERMIND.

Love,

Tobi

FUCK THIS THING.

MADARA

Dear Lovely Diary,

Ok so Madara-sempai is being grouchy. He refuses to write in this thing. I think he needs to be more careful though. I think Sasori-san caught him laughing at one of his gory movies. I'll never understand the humor. Blood just isn't funny to me. I puked when I went by Hidan's room once. Kakuzu-san made me clean it up. Deidara sempai blew me up again. I don't know why he hates me so much.

With Love,

Tobi

Hidan;

Dear stupid ass fucking diary,

Fuck. Kakuzu was trying to do shit to me again. I swear to Jashin, he just wants to piss me off or scare the fucking shit outta me. Well fuck him. Fucking heathen. I watched Saw with Tobi. Kinda freaky how he laughed at it. That kid is fucked up in the head. So Kakuzu cut my head off and left me in the woods. He took my body though. Think he got one of his stupid ass bounties for it. Must have run a fucking DNA thing on me. My fucking body hurts like hell. Especially my fucking ass. What the fuck did Kakuzu do?

Oh yeah Deidara asked me why Itachi and Sasori stare at him. Dumb ass blonde. Fuck him. I told him that they wanted to spend alone time with him. He fucking believed me! Ha!

Gotta go. Fucking miser wants me to go get something. Fuck him.

Praise be to Jashin.

Fuck you,

Hidan.

Dear worthless fucking diary,

I hate Kakuzu so much. He pisses me off. And so does everyone in this fucking base. Especially Pein. Damn leader. I fucked up his room today. His papers are all messed up now. Mother fucker.

Tobi puked all over the fucking door. Fucking bitch. Kakuzu made him clean it up. Like he should. Whatever. Agh, fuck. Kakuzu wants to glomp me again. Guess I'm just that hot.

Praise be to Jashin

From,

The fucking hot Hidan

Kakuzu:

Dear Diary,

Because I bought you, I intend to write in you. Your stupid, almost as stupid as Hidan. You cost me 1 american dollar. Yeah, that's right. I've moved to American currency. It's worth more.

Hidan is pissing me off. I cut his head and raped him. His body can fight, even without a brain! Then again, it isn't like Hidan uses it.

Ugh I lost my mask. I'm lazy, I'm gonna make Hidan go do it.

Hidan would kill me for saying this buutt:

Praise be to Money!

Kakuzu

Dear Diary,

God. What an idiot. I'm talking about Hidan, of course. He messed up Leader's office, ripping up papers and breaking things. Idiot.

Tobi puked all over the door! I already have to deal with the dried blood from Hidan, then the hyper baka throws up on it! Doors are expensive! I made Tobi clean it up, I'm not paying for anything.

Shit. Hidan came in without a shirt. Ugh. That moron doesn't know how much he turns me on. I need to do him. Bye.

Money

Kakuzu.

A/N: O-O ok then... Interesting...

Hidan: OoO K-Kakuzu?

Kakuzu: -is blushing-

Erun: -facepalm- just say it

Hidan: OoO

Erun: FINE! Oniisan?

Itachi: :| do you have to call me that.

Erun: ^-^ yes. Yes i do.

Itachi: -_- fine. Review, favorite, follow.

Erun: I only write Akatsuki!

Hidan: ^-^ she swears on her life. Which shall be gone if she breaks that swear.


End file.
